🍽️ Sizzle or Sink, Yacht Rock & Ceremonial Cacao 🍫

Hey there,

There are things brewing over here at The Naples Current, and I’m excited to share them with you soon. More on that in our next issue.

In the meantime, Sizzle Dining starts Monday. This publication and plenty of others have covered Sizzle Dining in the past and written about the menus without devoting quite enough attention to the economics.

Mea culpa. Consider this issue your breath of fresh air.

Because value isn't purely mathematical, we're looking at Sizzle - and, honestly Prixe Fixe in general - in a few different ways. The numbers winner, the lunch move worth making, the sleeper you might otherwise overlook—and, naturally, the one I would actually order.

Also this week: two upcoming events that are meaningful to me and support children's education, plus a Weekend Wave involving yacht rock, Pilates, cold plunges and my increasingly inevitable encounter with ceremonial cacao.

From Sizzle to sound baths, we contain multitudes.

Carolyn

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Feature

SIZZLE OR FIZZLE?

They said 25–30 percent off. I had a calculator.

I am inherently suspicious of a prix-fixe menu.

Partly because I know what can happen between three courses for $49! and what actually lands on the table. Portions shrink. Choices narrow. Suddenly I am eating a dessert I never wanted because apparently tiramisu is now part of my financial strategy.

But September 1 marks the return of Sizzle Dining, and this year the monthlong promotion includes 140 restaurants across Collier and Lee counties, with participating restaurants offering specially priced menus and $1 from every Sizzle meal benefiting Blessings in a Backpack SWFL.

With that many menus—and promised savings hovering around 25 to 30 percent—not all Sizzles are created equal.

So I went looking for the ones that actually change the equation.

🔥 SIZZLE & FIZZLE: THE WARREN

Warren sent me down a rabbit hole.

Its Sizzle dinner is $49 for three courses, and at first glance the value is borderline absurd.

Take the salmon, which normally runs $49 by itself. Add a first course and a $12 dessert, and you're looking at roughly $80-plus worth of food for $49, depending on what you choose.

That's a Sizzle.

Except Warren is currently running a summer promotion for 30 percent off most of its regular dinner menu.

So I did the math again.

That $49 salmon becomes $34.30 under the summer promotion. Discount an eligible appetizer, add the full-price dessert, and suddenly a comparable dinner lands considerably closer to the Sizzle price.

Here's the funny part: Sizzle still wins.

Just not by nearly as much as the first calculation suggests.

So Warren gets the distinction of being both my Sizzle and my Fizzle: a legitimately good deal that becomes considerably less dramatic once you read the fine print.

No one said eating dinner required this much math.

👠 THE CAROLYN: BICYCLETTE COOKSHOP

While everyone is busy talking about Heyday, its very buzzy new sibling, this might be an unusually good moment to remember Bicyclette Cookshop.

Especially because the Sizzle menu includes the snapper ceviche—a dish I have written about here more than once because apparently I am incapable of shutting up about it.

And I stand by that.

The rest of the menu is unmistakably Bicyclette: food that makes you pause for half a second when you read it, in a good way. Tuna crudo with burrata and heirloom tomato. Carrot pierogi with golden raisin and mint pesto. Crawfish katsu sando. Hamachi collar. The regular dinner menu even contains a dry-aged duck dish with smoked eel and beet umeboshi.

This isn't my pick because a spreadsheet told me it was the biggest bargain.

It's my pick because this is the menu I would order.

And with Heyday almost certainly destined to become one of the reservations everyone wants once season starts, September feels like a particularly good time to revisit the restaurant that got us here.

☀️ THE LUNCH MOVE: UNIDOS

Sizzle may be even more useful at lunch.

And this year Unidos is doing something particularly well timed: the restaurant is launching weekday lunch service in September, just as Sizzle begins.

Its Sizzle offering is $29 for two courses, making September an awfully convenient excuse to see what the new lunch looks like.

That's what I want from a promotion like this—not merely a discount on something I was going to do anyway, but a reason to try something differently.

New lunch. Sizzle pricing. September in Naples.

Easy.

🤫 THE SLEEPER: PETAR'S

Every time I write about Petar's, someone tells me to stop writing about Petar's.

So naturally, I'm writing about Petar's again.

The little Bonita Springs restaurant has developed the sort of fiercely protective following that makes people behave as though mentioning it publicly might cause irreversible harm.

Its regular menu explains some of the devotion—and also makes its Sizzle participation interesting. Starters generally land around $18–$27, entrées climb into the $40s and $50s, and desserts run roughly $13–$18.

A perfectly plausible three-course dinner there can therefore approach—or pass—$100 before you've ordered a drink.

The Sizzle menu is $69.

Is it the cheapest Sizzle dinner in Southwest Florida? Absolutely not.

Is cheap the point?

Also no.

Petar's is my sleeper because Sizzle gives you an excuse to finally try the restaurant your neighbors would apparently prefer I stop telling you about.

Sorry, guys.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Sizzle is ostensibly about value, but value is contextual. The largest discount on paper isn't necessarily the best deal—and the best deal isn't necessarily where I'd spend dinner.

There are 140 participating restaurants. These are the ones where, for one reason or another, September changes the calculus.

And if you find a more mathematically absurd menu, send it to me. My favorite part of doing this is hearing from you.

The Essentials

🌊 WEEKEND WAVE

Where to go — and why I’d go.

😂 1. FUNNY MARCO AT OFF THE HOOK
Friday, Aug. 28 | 7 & 9 p.m. + Saturday, Aug. 29 | 6:30 & 8:30 p.m. | Off The Hook Comedy Club, Naples

Viral comedian Funny Marco takes over Off The Hook for four shows this weekend. Tickets start at $30, with a two-item food or beverage minimum per person.

Why I’d go: Because after cold plunges, ceremonial cacao, yacht rock and a booze cruise, we need one activity that requires absolutely no self-improvement.

Tickets + details

🧊 2. RISE & THRIVE AT FOOD & THOUGHT 2
Saturday, Aug. 29 | 8–10 a.m. | Food & Thought 2, North Naples

Apparently we're not done with cold plunges yet. Food & Thought 2 is kicking off a new Saturday morning wellness series in the Yard, and this week's edition includes a 45-minute movement class from Sculpted Hot Pilates, a welcome juice shot, wellness vendors and—yes—a post-workout cold plunge. There's also a weekly prize drawing and a brunch special afterward for attendees.

Why I’d go: Pilates, cold plunge, then brunch feels like an entirely reasonable way to justify whatever happens at brunch.

Tickets ($10.60)

🍹 3. SUNSET REVELRY: A CEREMONY BOOZE CRUISE
Saturday, Aug. 29 | Bonita Bay Marina, Bonita Springs

This is one of those places I love and find that I often have to explain.

Don’t ask.

It’s different from Naples/Sarasota and that’s why it’s good for you. Let’s call it funky wellness.

Ceremony Brewing has a two-hour sunset cruise winding from the Imperial River through Estero Bay and out toward the Gulf for sunset. Your first two cocktails and light snacks are included, and there are only 30 seats aboard.

Why I’d go: Two cocktails, a boat and a Southwest Florida sunset. Get out there and meet some people who don’t look like you.

Tickets + details

🎸 4. SUNDAY AT SUGARSHACK DOWNTOWN
Sunday, Aug. 30 | Sugarshack Downtown, Bonita Springs

The days are still brutally hot, but evenings are finally becoming tolerable again. Sugarshack Downtown is one of the few places where you can gather outside with the community, grab a drink and hear free live music before season returns and we all start complaining about parking again.

Sunday's lineup:
🎶 Joe Yeoman | 1–4 p.m.
🎶 The Yacht Rockers | 6–9 p.m.

Why I’d go: I entered this summer fully convinced it would be my yacht rock summer—and, in many ways, it was. Go late. Yacht rock at sunset, a drink in hand and plenty of parking. These are the nights we're going to miss in about six weeks. Wait. Revise…These are the crowds we will fondly remember in six weeks…

🍫 5. CACAO + SOUND BATH AT SHANGRI-LA SPRINGS
Sunday, Aug. 30 | 6:30–8 p.m. | Shangri-La Springs, Bonita Springs

A restorative evening combining ceremonial cacao, guided meditation, crystal singing bowls, chimes, tuning forks and gentle energy work inside the Longroom at Shangri-La Springs.

Why I’d go: This place is objectively cool. If you’ve lived here long and haven’t been - well…here’s one excuse, but you can email me for more.

This is a wellness “ancient trend” I’ve seen everywhere lately. I have no clue what it is is. That’s why.

Tickets + details

About Town: TWO DATES TO PUT ON THE CALENDAR NOW

We may still be firmly in August, but Naples' fall social calendar is already beginning to fill in.

Two events in particular are worth getting on your radar now. I mention these because I've personally attended both, spoken with students impacted by both programs, and have come to feel increasingly strongly about access to educational opportunities—particularly now that I've got two kids of my own.

Both organizations approach that mission differently, but with undeniable dedication. Both have left an impression on me.

❤️ SEEING THE BIGGER PICTURE: PAINT THE TOWN RED

Wednesday, October 28 | 5:30–8 p.m. | Beeline at Mercato

Guadalupe Center's Seeing the Bigger Picture: Paint the Town Red returns October 28, this year taking over Beeline at Mercato.

It's deliberately more party than gala: light bites, signature cocktails, a DJ, silent auction, and a Fund-A-Need supporting Guadalupe Center's educational programs for students in Immokalee.

I've been before, and this is an easy one to say yes to: wear something red, bring your friends, have a cocktail and support an organization doing consequential work very close to home.

Tickets + event details

🍊 TURNING IDEAS INTO IMPACT

Friday, November 13 | 5:30–8 p.m. | Hilton Naples

Then in November, Southwest Florida CEO hosts Turning Ideas Into Impact, supporting its entrepreneurship education program for local students.

This one has always resonated with me for a different reason. Students aren't simply learning about entrepreneurship in a classroom—they're meeting business owners, developing ideas and getting exposure to the sort of real-world experiences that can materially alter what a young person imagines is possible for his or her own life.

The November fundraiser will feature student stories, community leadership and opportunities to support the continued growth of the program.

Two very different nights. Two very different approaches to education. And two dates worth putting on the calendar now.

📊 Last Week’s Poll: HOW FAR WILL YOU GO FOR WELLNESS?

Apparently, exercise still works.

🏋️ I’ll stick with the gym. Apparently exercise still works. — 25%

💧 IVs, vitamins, NAD+. Hook me up. — 18%

🍸 Does happy hour count as stress management? — 18%

🔥 Sauna, red light, contrast therapy. Give me all of it. — 15%

🧊 Put me in the cold plunge. I’m converted. — 13%

🧬 Hormones, optimization. I’ve entered my longevity era. — 11%

So after an entire issue devoted to increasingly elaborate ways to feel better, the gym won. Humbling.

This week’s poll…

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